Cracks and Broken Fragments
by Poecile
Summary: Tris chooses him and Tobias chooses her, but when the memory of their relationship is reset and altered, will they choose each other once again? Outside Chicago, Natalie Prior must find a way to stop the experiment as she watches her daughter become a threat to the Bureau as well as find first love for the second time. (Divergent AU)
1. Chapter 01

AN: This takes place in an alternate Divergent universe.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent series or any of its characters. They belong to Veronica Roth. I also don't own the cover image. It belongs to Bing Wright.

* * *

**Chapter 01**

Her arm shoots out from under the covers to turn off the ringing alarm clock on her bedside table. The blonde girl sits up groggily, opening her eyes to stare at the wall across her bed and she waits. She waits for her memories to flow back to her so she can remember where she is, and who she is. She has been like this for the past two weeks. Every morning, she wakes up with the instinct to turn off her alarm clock, sit up, and wait. Her mind is blank and she waits for thoughts to fill them. It has been getting better. This morning, it only takes her five minutes to remember herself.

Tris throws the covers off and stumbles the short way towards her dresser. Her room is plain and nondescript. It is not unlike the room she used to have in her Abnegation home. The room consists of a desk, a dresser, and the bed with its side table. However, there is one feature that distinguishes the room from her old one: the full length mirror that stands in one corner. It's been a year since she passed initiation and moved into this small apartment with Christina. When she first moved here, Christina had convinced her to get the mirror so she can get used to seeing her own reflection. Tris vaguely remembers her friend lecturing her about self confidence and being comfortable in her own skin.

Now, she stands in front of the mirror in her black Dauntless clothing. She's still unsure about being self confident but a year has been long enough to allow her to be comfortable with her reflection. Tris stares blankly at herself before letting her eyes drift along the cracks and broken fragments on the mirror. She doesn't remember when they got there, or how they got there. She does remember, somewhat, a point in time when the mirror was whole and clear. Now, the jagged lines cause her reflection to be distorted and blurred.

Tris tries to ignore the cracks in the mirror as she pulls back her sweater a little to reveal the raven tattoos along her collarbone. There are three birds, each representing a member of her family. The first is her brother, Caleb, who is now part of Erudite. The second is her father, who works in the government along with the other Abnegation leaders. Tris hasn't spoken to either of them since, since last year's choosing ceremony. The last bird represents her mother. Her mother who, who passed away some years ago.

A loud knock interrupts her thoughts.

"Tris? …Hey, you better be up and ready or I'm going to breakfast without you," Christina says through the door.

Tris straightens her sweater again before opening the door to see her roommate. "Good morning," she says with a smile.

"Morning," Christina replies, with a smile of her own. It's a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.

-x-

"So, you can get me a discount?"

"I'm not sure about that, Mar. Let me ask my boss first," Christina answers back nervously.

Tris picks at her muffin as she tries to concentrate on the conversation between her friends. Christina had been describing the new clothes that arrived from production yesterday. Since she works at the clothing store, she's been sorting through clothes and of course, hiding items in the back that she particularly likes. Occasionally, she gives Marlene and Tris discounts whenever they all go shopping together.

"It's okay if you can't." Marlene shrugs and chews thoughtfully on her muffin for a moment. "Are there any nice jackets? I lost my favourite a few weeks ago," she says with a pout.

While the two girls continue on with their discussion, Tris looks around the cafeteria. It is filled with Dauntless members enjoying breakfast and morning conversations, but the room is less rowdy than usual, almost as if the sound is being muffled. Tris is tempted to check if there are cotton balls stuck in her ears.

She is jolted out of her thoughts when a bottle cap hits her on the cheek. She glares at Uriah, who sits diagonally from her and has been flicking the cap back and forth with Lynn as some sort of game.

Uriah gives her a cheeky grin. "Wake up, Tris. You look like you left your brain in bed."

"Shut up," Tris retorts playfully. "Can't a girl be tired in the early morning?"

"Sure, I guess. But you better be more alive when you get to work. I don't think people will want to get tattoos from you if you're looking so confused," he teases.

Tris can't help but smile as she flicks the bottle cap and it hits Uriah squarely in the chest. Ever since she joined Dauntless, he has been one of her closest friends. She sometimes wonders if her relationship with Caleb would have been like this if they were born Dauntless. Even though she and Caleb got along, they were never carefree enough to talk about each other and joke around. They were Abnegations and Abnegations do not do such things.

Seeing her friends around her, Tris knows she belongs here. She remembers initiation, when, it was just her, Christina, and Al. Back then, she had been so uncertain about who she was. Al had been the same and that uncertainty had cost him his life. But she was different. She was determined to overcome initiation because a part of her realized she belongs here. Tris is glad she and Christina made it through. She's glad because there's something about this place that just makes it feel like home.

-x-

It's been a slow day. Tris tightens her ponytail again before going back to doodle on her sketch pad. This is what she does all day when there aren't many customers and there's nothing to clean. She's supposed to invent tattoos but she can barely think these days, much less make creative designs. There is a light buzzing coming from the other room. Tori is there, tattooing a lion onto someone's chest.

Tris is about to go ask Tori if she needs any help when a young man walks in. She watches as he looks around for a design he wants. It takes another minute before she recognizes who he is. Cory. One of the new members who passed initiation two weeks ago. Tris hadn't paid much attention to initiation this year. She was, working in the tattoo parlor. She does recognize him though because, he was the first ranked initiate this year.

"Hi, can I get this?" Cory hands her a sheet with a skull design on it. "Here," he adds while pointing at his upper right arm.

"Sure." She gives him a friendly smile and motions for him to follow. It doesn't take long before she's etching the image onto his flesh.

"You were first this year, right?" Tris asks, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah."

"What're you doing now?"

"I work at the control room."

"Oh." She frowns. "How is it?"

Cory shrugs his left shoulder casually while she works with his right arm. "It's better than initiation."

"I bet," she replies with a smirk. "Who were your instructors this year?"

"Four."

Tris frowns again. "Just Four?"

"Nah, we had two instructors. We had…uh, no wait, it was only Four," Cory says dazedly. After a second, he shakes his head. "No, I mean, we had two instructors."

She pulls back and gives him an odd look.

"We had… two instructors. One for the transfers and another for the Dauntless-borne. Yeah…that's… what I meant," he concludes uncertainly.

Tris nods and continues working on the tattoo but decides to change the subject. She doesn't understand why he sounds so confused but she doesn't ask. She realizes that she's confused about a lot of things these days too.

After Cory, she inks another few people before clocking out. She walks tiredly to the cafeteria for dinner. A long slow day is definitely not helpful in keeping her awake. It's as if a permanent fog has settled into her head and she can't clear it. Perhaps being a tattoo artist wasn't the right choice for her. Perhaps she needs a job where she's up and about and more active towards society. For a second, Tris can't remember why she decided to be a tattoo artist in the first place.

"Hey, short stuff!"

She looks up to see Zeke waving at her from a few feet away. He's got a goofy grin on his face, the same kind that Uriah wears. Beside him is Four, who looks slightly perturbed.

"Hi," Tris greets, as they walk towards her. Over the year that she's been here, she got to know Zeke through his brother. They've both got the same wild and carefree personality, the kind that you can't really hate but may occasionally be annoyed with. She's not as close to Zeke as she is with Uriah but they're friends nonetheless.

Four, on the other hand, she hasn't spoken to him much this past year. No, she hasn't, she hasn't spoken to him, much.

"Heading for dinner? You might want to hurry or there might not be any cake left for you," Zeke jokes.

"What are you talking about?" Tris replies good-humouredly. "We're Dauntless. We _always_ have enough cake."

"Really? I thought that only applied to booze."

She rolls her eyes. "Where are you guys going?"

"Control room," Four responds.

Zeke sighs dramatically. "Yeah, unlike you, we've got to work even after dinner." He pats her on the shoulder as he walks past.

She looks at Four as he stands there and stares at her. His brows are furrowed as if he's trying to remember something or as if he wants to say something. After a couple of seconds, he walks past her and after Zeke.

Tris stays rooted in spot as she feels a strange hammering in her chest. She hears their footsteps become distant until she can't hear them anymore. It takes another minute before she turns around and starts heading back to the tattoo parlor. She goes back there because she's forgotten something. A voice inside her head tells her she's forgotten something. She must have forgotten something.

-x-

_The roar of the chasm drowns out the sound of celebration from the other parts of the Dauntless compound. Even though she's happy and ranked first, Tris can't believe the amount of partying that's still going on. It's already 3 in the morning. Now that she's away from all the noise, she can finally feel tiredness seeping in._

_She looks as Tobias as they sit side by side at the bottom of the chasm. He's smiling as he stares out into the rushing currents._

"_What?" He asks when he catches her stare._

"_Are you drunk?"_

"_No, of course not."_

"_You're smiling at the water like you want to jump in or something," she tells him._

_Tobias laughs at the comment. "I'm smiling because I'm happy."_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Yeah. Because my girlfriend not only passed initiation but she also ranked first. And to top it all off, she kissed me in front of all of Dauntless. What's there not to be happy about?" He explains with a teasing glint in his blue eyes._

_Tris blushes at what happened earlier that day. She doesn't know what overcame her at that moment to be bold enough to kiss him in front of all the other members. The thought makes her light-headed and giddy and she's happy about it too._

"_Christina and Will's jaws almost dropped to the floor when they saw." He takes her hand and entwines it with his. "Did they ask you anything?_

_She smiles as she feels the warmth of his palm pressing against her own. "Yeah, they did. And they made fun of me too… for liking our very intimidating instructor."_

"_It's fun being intimidating," Tobias says with a shrug. "If I teach you how to be intimidating, maybe you can teach initiates with me next year."_

_Tris laughs. "I'll think about it. I mean, I don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow."_

"_You're ranked first. You can do whatever you want."_

"_Hm." She chews on her bottom lip in thought. "Maybe I'll be an ambassador or something. So I can get out of the compound once in a while. And I guess, so I can see my parents sometimes."_

_Tobias smiles at her choice. Not seeing his father was one of the factors for him when he chose his job. He envies her because she has a family that's still worth seeing. It's not the type of envy that's filled with negativity and jealousy, but the type with gratitude and admiration because he knows she grew up with parents that love her. She knows they love her and she's brave enough to trust them to still love her despite having left their faction._

"_When you see them, will you tell them about us?" He asks slowly._

"_Probably," Tris says. "I haven't spoken to my father since I came here so I'm not sure if I would tell him right away. But I'd probably tell my mom."_

_He nods silently, not quite sure how to voice out his worries._

"_You know, my mom said she likes you."_

"_When?" Tobias asks. He tries not to sound too curious even though he is. He's sure Tris can hear it in his voice because of the knowing smile she gives him._

"_During Visiting Day. Well, she didn't really say she likes you but she said you're handsome," she muses._

"_That doesn't mean anything. And she doesn't know who my father is yet."_

_Tris frowns and shifts a little so she can look at him better. "You're not defined by who your father is, Tobias. You're defined by who you are."_

_He can see the turbulent storm brewing in her grey-blue eyes. It is that look of determination and strength that draws him to her and it is that same determination that makes him believe in her words. He gives her a light kiss on the forehead to thank her, because she believes in him too. It baffles him that she's so confident in him even though she's not confident in herself._

_When he pulls back, he asks a question that will lighten the mood, but it's a question he'd like to know the answer to nonetheless._

"_So, do you agree with your mom?" He gives her a boyish grin. "About me being handsome?"_

_Tris bites the inside of her cheek as she tries to hide a smile. He _is_ handsome, but she's not about to tell him that and let him tease her about it._

"_Maybe," she answers. "But not as handsome as Zeke."_

"_What?" A frown. A very serious one that makes Tris laugh. He waits until she's done laughing at him before he continues. "You know Zeke is already taken, right? He's dating Shauna."_

_She's still smiling amusedly as he continues to frown. She can't tell if he's playing along with her or not anymore. But it really doesn't matter, because there is only one truth._

"_Oh well, it wouldn't have worked out anyway..." She shrugs before leaning her head on his shoulder. Tris is tired and the loud current might not be able to keep her awake for long. She's at the bottom of the chasm and inches away from being swept by the currents but she has never felt more safe and at home. "…since I think I may be already taken too."_

_She's halfway to dreamland when she feels Tobias lightly leans his head onto hers and whispers:_

"_You are."_

* * *

AN: I'm not entirely sure how the rest of this story will go since I don't have the details planned out yet. I might just adjust it a little and make it a one-shot. Anyway, reviews and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. Also, let me know if there is any OOC. I think I have voices from some other universe mixed in there…

I'm also aware there are some oddly placed pauses/commas. For the most part, they are intentional. Though I'm sure there are some unintentionally misused ones too…


	2. Chapter 02

**Chapter 02**

Inhale. Aim. Exhale. Fire. Inhale. Aim. Exhale. Fire.

Tris lowers her gun and checks the target standing across from her. There are marks around the center and she smiles, proud that she hasn't lost her touch yet.

"I don't get why we have to continue training. I mean, I work in a clothing store for God's sake." Christina pouts as she puts another bullet through the target's center. "And we have to train with our free time. What's up with that?"

"It's because if something big happens, everyone in Dauntless, including those who work in clothing stores, will have to protect the city," Tris explains, even though she's sure Christina knows already. She knows Christina is just bummed out about having to use her own time. She goes to put away her gun. The training room is empty except for the two of them. Apparently, no one likes to train on weekends.

"Yeah yeah, I'm sure the monsters outside the city are getting ready to attack us any day now," Christina jokes, as she walks up to inspect her target.

Tris laughs, but then stops abruptly. "What _is_ outside the city?"

"Wreckage of the Great War?" Christina says in an obvious tone.

"Yeah, okay, so there's no one out there right? I mean, past Amity. So why can't we go out there? Why do we have a fence protecting us from the outside?"

Christina walks to where Tris is and puts away her gun. "The weapons they used to use caused some kind of radiation damage to the land. And it's still out there in the air. The area our city was built in just happens to be safe but there's radiation surrounding the outside. I don't really know how that works, maybe we just got lucky. The fence doesn't protect us from the outside. It actually protects us from ourselves. It prevents us from going outside because radiation can be lethal to us. If someone goes out there, gets contaminated, and comes back, then other people might get contaminated too. Then we're all screwed."

Tris crosses her arms and looks at Christina skeptically. "How do you know all this?"

"An Erudite told me." Christina shrugs. "One of the Erudites we trained with during initiation."

"Edward?"

"What? No, it was…" She taps her chin in thought. "Myra? …I don't remember but it was probably Myra. I don't think I ever talked to Edward."

"And you talked to Myra?"

"Maybe," Christina says with a laugh. "Come on, I'm starving." She drags Tris towards the training room exit as they make their way to lunch.

When they enter the cafeteria, the two head to the usual table where their friends are. To their surprise, Zeke and Four are also there.

"Hey, you two are invited too," Zeke yells as Christina and Tris sits down.

Christina's eyes light up. "A party?"

"Yup."

"What's the occasion?" Tris asks, as she and Christina fill their plates.

"_Someone's_ birthday, he says," answers Uriah. He rolls his eyes. "He can't even remember who."

"Who cares? All we need to know is there's a party," Lynn says with a smirk.

"That's right." Zeke gives his brother a playful jab in the ribs. "So I expect to see all of you there. Except Four, since he's too cool for us."

Tris looks down the table at Four. "You're not going?"

"No," he replies. "I'm busy."

"You're always busy," Marlene comments.

"It's because we don't have enough people in the control room," Four explains casually. "If Zeke volunteers to stay behind, then maybe I can go to this party of yours."

Zeke gives him a dirty look. "Hey, don't make it my fault! You volunteered to work."

"Because someone has to do it."

"Anyway," Christina interrupts. "When's the party?"

"7 tonight, on the rooftop," Uriah answers with food in his mouth.

Marlene gives him a disapproving look but laughs when he sticks his tongue out at her.

"I don't know why you're still dating him, Mar," Tris says with a frown.

"It's 'cause I'm awesome!" Uriah shouts.

Marlene just shrugs with a smile she can't seem to fight off. "Let's go shopping after lunch. It's been so long since we've had a party and I think I need a new dress. How come we didn't have a post-initiation party this year?"

Her question earns her a few confused faces.

"We did have one," Lynn tells her.

"We did? Was I there?"

"Damn, Mar, you must've been pretty drunk that night," Zeke says while the others laugh at Marlene's lack of memory.

"I honestly don't remember it at all," she says with a pout.

"Well, you better not drink as much tonight," Four teases. He stands and addresses Zeke. "I'm gonna go back first so Cory can have lunch." After his colleague gives him a curt nod, Four starts to head back to work.

Tris turns around to see him walk off. After a split second, she gets up from the table too. "I'll be right back," she tells her friends, before hurrying after him.

She doesn't know why she wants to confide in him of all people, especially since they're barely friends. A part of her thinks it's because he was her instructor so naturally, he's the go-to person for her when she needs help with something.

"Four," Tris calls.

He turns around as she catches up to him just outside the cafeteria. "Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Four nods and leads her away from the cafeteria noise. When they get to a quieter hallway, he crosses his arms and leans against the wall while he waits for her to start talking. The look he's giving her makes her nervous and it makes her feel like an initiate again.

"I was wondering if it's possible to change jobs," Tris says softly.

"Why are you asking me?" He asks, confusion in his voice.

"I …don't know," she answers honestly. "Because you were my instructor?"

He chuckles and she wonders why the sound is so familiar.

"It depends on a few things. Like what your current job is and what you want to change it to. They'll also factor in your initiation rank but I don't think that'll be an issue for you." Four says. "You don't like working at the tattoo parlor?"

"It's not that I don't like it…" Tris bites the inside of her cheek uncertainly. "I don't know, I guess I want to do something more worthwhile as a Dauntless. Like actually protecting the city. I mean, I respect Tori and Bud as tattoo artists and I like tattooing but it's more of a hobby to me. I know I'll probably sound like a Stiff but I guess I just want to contribute more to the society."

She swallows the lump in her throat. She could have given him a plain yes or no answer but she felt the need to explain herself. She doesn't want him to think that being a tattoo artist is too insignificant for her, because it isn't true. She honestly likes tattooing but she also feels like a caged bird. Every day, she's trapped in the parlor, waiting for people to come in. It makes her feel suppressed and Tris thinks it's the reason why she's been feeling so out of sorts lately, like she doesn't belong.

"You should have thought about it more before choosing to work there then," he says sternly.

"I didn't choose this!" Tris replies a bit too loudly. She can feel heat rushing to her cheeks from the embarrassment of her outburst and also the slight anger from his statement.

Four rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably as Tris apologizes. He watches her stare at her shoes, looking at little awkward and ashamed. For some reason, he finds it cute, but he pushes the thought away.

"Well, I guess I did but..."

"What do you want to work as then?" Four asks kindly.

"Um…" She bites the inside of her cheek again, this time harder than before. She can't believe the question never presented itself before. How could she have wanted a new job without considering what specific job in the first place? What _does_ she want to do? "Maybe an ambassador or something, so I can get out of the compound once in a while," she blurts out, because it's the first thing that comes to mind.

Four shakes his head slightly. "I don't think that'll work. One of the new members from this year's initiation took the last ambassador position."

Tris looks at him with confusion in her eyes. Confusion, and a bit of disappointment, but she's not sure why it feels like something has been taken away from her.

"We only need so many ambassadors, Tris," he explains. "You'll need to apply for something that's got open placements. There are usually spots at the fence or as field patrol. I'm sure there are other jobs available too but you'll have to check the Human resources office. Shauna works there; you can ask her for help."

She nods silently.

"Hey, don't look so grim," Four says, placing a hand on her arm. He leans down a little so that he's eye-level with her. "If there isn't anything you want to do now, you can just wait until a position opens up. Things will work out eventually."

"Yeah," Tris answers vaguely. She can't remember a time when Four was so encouraging. Even though he was not as cold-blooded as Eric, he had always been strict and unforgiving during initiation. She remembers the way he used to mock her for not being strong enough. She remembers when he told her she'd never win. So now, it doesn't make sense for her to find familiarity from the reassurance in his voice, or from the concern in his eyes, but she does.

"I'll see you… around then," Four says, pulling back. "Have fun at the party tonight."

Tris nods and gives him a small smile as he leaves. She stares at his back as he walks away, and it isn't until he turns the corner does she realize her heart is beating abnormally fast.

-x-

Tris' mood lightens throughout the day as she goes shopping with Marlene and Christina. She doesn't buy anything since her dresser is already bursting with all the things Christina convinced her to buy from pervious shopping trips. She spends most of her time waiting for the other girls to try out clothes, giving her opinions, and laughing about the random things they talk about.

By the time they get back to their apartment, Tris is actually excited about the party. Christina, who has proclaimed herself as Tris' stylist, said she'll help her with her hair and make-up after they both change. Tris goes to her room to choose from one of the black dresses she has come to own over the year. She picks one that is not too fancy and can be paired with a leather jacket to give a chic and casual look. Tris figures she'll need the jacket later at night since the party is out on the rooftop.

As she pulls the dress on, something odd in the mirror catches her eyes. She reaches back to zip the dress up before slowly walking towards her reflection on the cracked mirror in the corner. A frown tugs at her lips as her breathing becomes rapid and shallow. Tris turns around and lifts the back of her dress up a little to reveal the black mark on her upper left thigh. Adrenaline courses through her as she rubs at the tattoo, checking if it's real. She recognizes the adrenaline rush and she recognizes the feeling of panic, but she doesn't recognize the letters etched in her skin. She rubs at it harshly, trying to get it off. The skin around it turns red but the mark remains.

Tris stops and stares anxiously at the tattoo on the back of her leg. She doesn't remember getting that tattoo. She doesn't know what those two letters mean.

_IV _

* * *

AN: I can't seem to stop writing after I start. But I know it's bad from experience because it's like starting a marathon with a sprint. Let's see how far I can get before I run out of fuel.

Much thanks to the two individuals who favourited/follow this story! It means a lot! :D


	3. Chapter 03

**Chapter 03**

_Tris hands Tori the piece of paper she had just written on._

"_IV?" Tori reads, with a raised eyebrow. "Like the needle thing they put in you at the hospital?"_

"_No," Tris mumbles distractedly as she tries to shimmy out of her jeans. She's uncomfortable about undressing in front of Tori but she wants the tattoo on the back of her thigh. If anything, she's grateful they're in a private room with a locked door. "It's actually a symbol from a number system."_

_Tori adjusts the seat for Tris to lie on her stomach and begins to set up her equipment. "Okay…" she says in a tone that prompts Tris to continue._

"_Will told me about it. He said he read it from a book once. It's called Rowan…or Roman…numerals," Tris tells her, trying to recite what Will said. "It was used in some ancient city. And it eventually spread throughout the world but its use wasn't common so people kind of forgot about it. I means one, V means five, X means ten, and… there are some other ones but I don't really remember."_

"_I still don't get what I V means," Tori say, while working on the tattoo._

_Every tattoo Tris has so far was done by Tori and the older woman knows the meaning behind each of them. She knows she can trust Tori with this one too, and she does want Tori to know. Although they don't talk much, Tori has guided her through discovering herself as a Divergent and a Dauntless. Tris can sort of see a sisterly figure in the tattoo artist and she's grateful for Tori as a friend._

_Still, she's shy when it comes to explaining this tattoo._

"_Well, the I is behind the V which means one before five which means-"_

"_Four," Tori announces and watches Tris for confirmation. When Tris nods, Tori gives her a knowing smile._

-x-

Tris tries to have fun at the party that night but all she can think about is the tattoo on her leg. It frightens her that she can't remember when she got it or what it represents. She knows the tattoo parlor has a 'no-drunk-customers' policy so she couldn't have gotten it while under the influence. Tris considers asking Christina but she doesn't want to worry her friend. She's also not sure how to tell Christina she has a tattoo she doesn't know about.

Tris goes home early that night, not bothering to participate in whatever drinking games the others are up to. She trudges back to her apartment while pulling out odd pins and clips out of her hair. After a quick shower, she changes into a loose t-shirt and a pair of shorts. When she enters her room, she heads towards that cracked broken mirror to look at it again, that horrible tattoo that's making her manic.

Tris climbs into bed, hoping it'll be gone tomorrow even though the thought is childish. She knows come tomorrow, she won't be waking up from a strange dream or a long simulation, but for now she can hope, and she can stop thinking.

-x-

Tris goes to the tattoo parlor early the next morning. Her hair is tied up in an Abnegation bun to keep it out of her way. She uses the key she was given to unlock the door and head inside. Bud and Tori had given her a copy of the key when she started working here. Tori usually works in the morning as well but Bud tends to work in the evening and nights. Before Tori arrives, Tris looks through the designs scattered throughout the shop. None of them resemble the tattoo on her leg.

She goes back to the counter and grabs her sketch pad to draw the tattoo, preparing to show Tori. It's just two letters but she draws it just in case there is something else to it. When Tori arrives, Tris greets her with a usually "good morning".

"Tori, do you know what this means?" Tris asks casually while showing Tori the sketch pad.

"IV?" Tori reads, with a raised eyebrow. "Like the needle thing they put in you at the hospital?"

Tris' eyes widen. "What?"

"An intravenous injection, the delivery of fluids or drugs directly into your veins," Tori explains.

"Oh." Tris deflates a little.

"I'm… guessing that wasn't the answer you were looking for," Tori says, crossing her arms. "Why are you asking?"

"I saw a tattoo on someone that said IV so I was just wondering…" Tris lies. One of the perks of having Christina as her friend is that Tris has learned to lie a lot better. Christina had picked at her telltale signs of lying to prove that she wasn't being honest but now, Tris just makes sure she hides those signs. She still feels a bit guilty and nervous when she lies, but she makes the conscious effort not to bite the inside of her cheeks or wipe her palms on her jeans.

"It's probably an acronym for something else then, unless the person was a doctor. I doubt anyone would want 'intravenous' tattooed on them," Tori says with a snicker. "It might just be someone's initials."

"Oh, I guess initials would make sense," Tris comments. It takes a second before she remembers _she's_ the one with the tattoo and it being initials is not so likely after all. She's not close to anyone with the initials I.V. and she sure as hell would not get some random acquaintance's initials tattooed on her leg.

"Whose tattoo was it?" Tori asks as she sort through designs on a nearby rack.

"I don't know, I just saw it in passing at the party last night," Tris answers, rubbing the back of her neck unconsciously. "I thought you might've tattooed them."

"Hm, I don't remember. Maybe it was Bud."

Tris nods even though Tori isn't looking. She doesn't think it's Bud. Being from Abnegation, physical contact is a big deal for her. Even though Bud is a friend, she can't imagine having him tattoo her in such an obscure place like the back of her thigh. Tris couldn't have tattooed herself there either so the only plausible person must have been Tori. Tori, who doesn't remember doing it. Tris would find it strange if not for the fact that she herself cannot remember getting the tattoo either.

She sighs quietly, pushing aside thoughts of the tattoo for the time being.

"There's something else I want to tell you," Tris says nervously. "I've been thinking of getting another job. Tattooing is fun but… it's just not really me. So… I might see if there're any other jobs available I can take on."

Tori stares at her with a serious expression. Her eyes are alert and bright even in the dim light, and her lips are pressed together tightly. She gives the entrance a cursorily glance before speaking again. "I kind of knew you'd want to do something else eventually. Whatever you decide to do, just remember why you chose to work here in the first place."

"What?" Tris asks breathlessly.

"You have to be careful. Don't attract any attention; you don't want people figuring out what you are."

-x-

The elevator rattles loudly as it moves through the compound floors. Despite the sleek clean walls from within, the unnerving sound it makes seems to be a better indication of its old age. Tris waits silently in the elevator with no company except for the camera in the corner. Its red light blinks every several seconds as if to remind her it's there. By the time she gets to the floor of the Human resources office, Tris is more than happy to step out of that elevator.

Her footsteps echo as she walks through the empty hall and it irks her. During one of her shopping trips with Christina, she had tried on a pair of kitten heels. Even though Christina nagged her again and again to get them, Tris stood her ground and decided against it. Aside from being uncomfortable, she just doesn't have the confidence to walk every step with loud clicks following in her wake. The Abnegation in her would also being saying not to draw attention to herself.

That was one of the things Tori reminded her of this morning too. She shouldn't be drawing attention to herself because she's Divergent. The tattoo parlor seems like the perfect place for her to work for that very reason and it was why she began working there after initiation. At least according to Tori, it was. Had she really wanted to be a tattoo artist just so she can hide herself from the world? Tris can't remember ever having that thought despite how much it makes sense. Along with that, there are several other things she can't remember, the tattoo being one of them, and they're making Tris anxious. Something feels terribly wrong.

As she steps inside the HR department, she sees a woman with flaming red hair sitting behind a wooden desk. It's considerably neat since the only thing on it is a computer monitor and a plaque that reads 'Ruby'.

"Hi, can I help you?" Ruby asks cheerfully.

"I'd like to see Shauna," Tris replies. "I have an appointment with her."

It's not a formal appointment. Tris isn't even sure if Dauntless members set appointments for anything. They're the type of people who shows up where and whenever they want. She did mention to Shauna last night that she wanted to speak with her though.

"Sure, she's just in that office right there," Ruby says, pointing to a door down the hall. "You can just knock and go in."

Tris thanks the kind woman and enters Shauna's office after knocking several times.

"Hey Tris," Shauna greets, motioning for her to take a seat. "You said you wanted a new job, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Okay." She laughs a little. "My memory wasn't so good when I woke up this morning. Anyway, I looked into it for you and found a few positions but there's not much."

Tris nods and the two converse about the open job positions, beginning with the unlikely ones. Tris just shakes her head at the prospect of working as a bartender or a kitchen assistant in the compound. She does seriously consider guarding the fence or patrolling the city. Those are the common Dauntless jobs and they are always accepting recruits for those. The problem with them is she'd be out in the open all the time. It's possible to just keep to herself but if a problem arises, she might catch attention by saying or doing something wrong. Guarding the fence and patrolling the city also sound rather laborious.

"How about working at the pharmacy counter in the compound hospital?" Shauna suggests. "It's a very relaxing job."

"Don't you need medical knowledge for something like that?" Tris asks confusedly.

"The seniors there will probably teach you a thing or two, but it's not like you need to be an Erudite. You don't prescribe the medicine; you just have to give them to the right patients. It's like working as a librarian."

"I'm not really sure about that," Tris says with a frown. "It sounds… kind of boring."

"It does." Shauna smirks, reminding Tris of Lynn. "The last option is working at the control room. I personally think this is more suiting for you in terms of how you ranked from initiation. It's a comfortable job but it's also a very important one in terms of securing the city."

"I'm not very handy with technology. And I don't think I can sit in front of the computer all day." Tris sighs with frustration. "Will there be more jobs later in the year? The positions are pretty limited right now. What will happen to new members?

"Well, we're more lenient with new members. Departments are forced to accept freshly trained initiates sometimes. Plus, we only have ten new members per years so it's not a big problem." Shauna explains.

"Oh…"

"I know we have three lazy asses sitting in the control room right now, but that's really not what the job is about. You also have to go around the city doing some camera maintenance once in a while, as well as keep up some other security measures. In fact, I'm sure the guys there wouldn't mind if you volunteered to help with that. There are supposed to be four to six people on the team to balance watching the cameras and working outside of the control room but they've only got three right now," Shauna says hopefully. "Of course, there will be days when all you do is sit in front of the computer... I'm not trying to sugar-coat the job for you but I just thought you should know."

Tris bites the inside of her cheek in thought. It sounds like a decent position. She wouldn't mind the work trips outside the compound now and then, but it'll mainly be protecting the city from behind the scenes. She won't have to actively put herself on the front lines and attract attention.

She smiles brightly. "Are there any downsides to the job?"

"Downsides?" Shauna repeats. She smiles too, after realizing Tris is considering the job. "Well, you have to work with three guys …but I guess that can be an upside, depending on how you look at it. Just so you know though, Zeke is already taken," she says with a chuckle.

"That's okay, I'm taken too."

Shauna stares at Tris in shock, with her eyes widened and mouth half-opened to resemble a goldfish. "You are?!"

"No, I'm just kidding," Tris says, shaking her head and laughing.

Shauna rolls her eyes. "I can't believe I fell for that," she mutters. "Anyway, if you're serious about the job, you just have to fill this out." She pulls out a form and pen from one of her desk drawers and hands it to Tris.

"'Kay," Tris replies as she reads over the form. "Do I hand it in somewhere or…?"

"Oh, you just give it to me. I have to input the information electronically and send it to the leaders for confirmation. We actually don't keep the physical copies at all; everything is shredded afterwards. We only use it because it's convenient for people to fill out," Shauna explains. "Everything is stored on a database in the city server."

"That sounds …safe. What happens if something goes wrong with the server?" Tris muses as she fills out the form.

Shauna shrugs nonchalantly. "I don't know. I guess the Erudite will figure it out or something. By the way, I'm going to send your request to the leaders but it might take a few days before they respond. We don't get a lot of job changing requests and it's not really their priority to look over them. But I'll let you know once they've processed it."

Tris nods and hands the completed form over to her. "Thanks a lot, Shauna."

* * *

AN: Sorry for the boring job talk. :P


	4. Chapter 04

**Chapter 04**

It takes a week before Tris hears from Shauna about her job change request. Due to the amazing rank she achieved from initiation, the leaders had no objections to her changing jobs.

The day before, she returned the tattoo parlor key to Tori and Bud, and she apologized to them for leaving. Neither seemed particularly disappointed in her decision but instead, wished her good luck. She also assured Tori she'd be careful and would try to blend in.

Christina, on the other hand, seems to have trouble accepting the news since hearing about it yesterday.

"So, you're really gonna work in the control room?" Christina asks for the fifth time.

They are currently sitting in their small apartment kitchen. Neither of them was in the mood for the rowdy cafeteria atmosphere this morning.

"Yes," Tris answers firmly. She gives her roommate a frown. "Does it bother you that much?"

"Not really…It's just… When it comes to the control room, I sort of imagine some intelligent tech-y guy working there…"

"You're being sexist," Tris warns.

"No, I'm...Okay, maybe I am," Christina mumbles before taking another bite of her toast. "Well, I hope you like it there. I'm sure it'll be …fascinating."

Tris hums in response and gets up from her seat. "I'm gonna go first."

"Wait, don't you want me to walk you?"

She rolls her eyes. "I know where the control room is."

"Psh. I was just trying to be nice," Christina huff exasperatedly.

Tris lets out a short laugh. "No thanks. You can wash the dishes though."

"Ugh, what happened to the Abnegation girl I used to know?!" Christina yells as Tris steps out the door.

Tris walks through the halls with light, rapid steps. There's a nervous energy within her that's keeping her from being still. As she passes the Pit, she sees Marlene and gives her a quick wave before hurrying on. Even though she has some doubts about working at the control room, the idea of a new job still excites her. She approaches her new workplace with a determined smile and wipes her palms on her jeans before opening the door.

"Hey look, it's the newbie!" Zeke teases with a broad smile. He's leaning against a black table that's scattered with hard drives, wires, and a variety of electronic equipments. Behind him is one of the many mega-sized screens in the room, displaying a number of live camera footage from around the city.

Off to the side, Four and Cory looks up from where they've been talking. They're both sitting in front of a single computer. Cory's hands are poised on top of the keyboard.

"Hi…" Tris says uncertainly and wondering if she needs to formally introduce herself.

"Hi, Tris," Cory greets. "I'm Cory, in case you don't remember."

"Yeah, I do." Tris can see that Cory has gotten black streaks highlighted in his blonde hair since the last time she's seen him. He's short compared to the other two males in the room and only a bit taller than Tris. He's got a sufficient amount of muscle that likely helped him get through initiation but he's considerably lean compared to other Dauntless males too.

Four stands and crosses his arms. "I didn't think you'd be working here when you told me you wanted to change jobs," he says casually.

"Me neither," Tris replies in a nervous tone. "But Shauna managed to make your job sound interesting."

"Let me guess, the thing that interested you most was getting to work with three _very_ hot looking guys, right?" Zeke says with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Tris feels her cheeks flushing but tries to laugh it off. "Actually, working with, and I quote, 'three lazy asses' was considered one of the cons of the job."

"I'm not lazy," Cory argues seriously. His green eyes are focused as he resumes typing on his computer.

"Me neither," Four adds with a smirk while giving his best friend a pointed look.

Zeke frowns childishly. "Hey, I thought we were supposed to be bullying the new kid."

"That doesn't sound like a good idea. She's probably got a group of girls backing her up."

"Since when is the mighty Four afraid of girls?" He mocks.

"Since I found out they have cooties," Four jokes as he turns on another computer.

Tris and Cory laugh at the other two's banter.

Zeke rolls his eyes. "Well unfortunately for you, you'll have to teach Tris the basics while I go grab breakfast and," he yawns dramatically. "And take a long nap. I hate the night shift."

"Yeah, we know," Four mutters under his breath. He motions for Tris to sit down in front of the monitor he's at.

Zeke gives her a slight push from behind. "Don't worry, he doesn't bite. You might want to watch out for the knives though," he quips and exits the room.

Tris takes the seat Four offers to her. He pulls another chair over, sits down, and begins to give her an overview of how to work the security program. Once in a while, he'd ask a question to Cory to test the younger man's knowledge. Since Cory only started working here a few weeks ago, he's still in the process of learning. Four teaches her how to type simple commands on the computer to control a camera and how to use the microphone to communicate with patrols outside in the city. He also explains how to organize the live footages displayed on the large screens that surround the room.

"Some people have this crazy idea that we watch every single camera. Obviously that's not the case since there are so many of them. As you can see, the camera footages are laid out and they're already organized by sections. For example, that one," Four points at a particular screen. "shows all the cameras in the Dauntless sector. Every ten seconds or so, another set of cameras are focused, and it continues in a cycle. The screen we focus on most is that one," he points again, this time at the large screen in the front and center of the room. "This screen is set to display areas of high alert, such as the factionless sector, or other places that our patrol teams might want us to keep an eye on. If say, there is a heated trial in the court house today, we might put the court house cameras up on that screen for the day."

Tris nods, trying to take in all the information. "Okay… but what if there's a fight or something that breaks out on a screen we're not watching?"

"Generally, there's not a lot of conflict in the city. But I get what you're saying and to be honest, we can't really do anything about it. Even if all four of us are in here, we can't watch the entire city. I guess that's where the patrols come in. But sure, there are conflicts we miss sometimes but at least we'll have the evidence for them afterwards."

"The footage is all stored?" Tris asks.

"Of course," Four replies. He types a few commands on the keyboard and a folder opens. "They're all stored there. Sometimes the Candor will ask us for a particular footage to use as evidence and we send it to them."

"So you have years and years of video footage stored on these computers?" Tris asks, her mouth slightly agape.

"Technically, we should."

She gives him a confused look. "What's that mean?"

"They've been erased," Cory supplies from across the room. "The footage is locked onto a city server. Even when we send it to whoever needs it, we send it from within a closed system. We log in to the server on our end and send it to them, and then they log in on their end to receive it. We can't pull it out of that system, or simply put, we can't back it up. It's so stupid, because something went wrong with the servers a couple weeks ago so all the footage before then is gone. Two hundred years of footage, gone. Zeke kept saying I'm bad luck 'cause it happened on the day I started working here."

"You had two hundred years of footage?" Tris asks Four with amazement in her voice.

He nods. "Yeah, more or less. The footage before that probably got erased from a server malfunction too. It's a bit sad, but it's not like you need footage from so long ago."

"But it'd be so interesting to watch!" Cory says enthusiastically. "It's like, if you wanted to see what your parents were like when they were at their choosing ceremony, you can!"

"It's really not as interesting as you think, Cory," Four says with a shake of his head. "And that's also why we can't pull footage out of the system. Privacy issues with the law and things like that."

"Yeah, but if we're already allowed to watch it then what's the point?" Cory complains.

"_We_ are allowed to watch it because we work here. Nobody else is supposed to see this stuff. Even when we're supposed to supply footage for Candor trials, they need to have authorization from the government," Four explains strictly. "I thought I already taught you that."

Cory nods and goes back to his work to avoid being scolded.

Tris points at the folder on the screen. "So all the footage we have now, it's about a month's worth?"

"Well, the server took a while to fix. It's more like two weeks worth of footage." Four rubs his forehead warily. "Anyway, that's enough info for the day. You should also know we've got night shifts here. Zeke's was last night and Cory's is tonight. I'm on for tomorrow so yours can be the night after that. And we'll just cycle through the shifts every four days then."

"Okay," Tris replies, trying to hide her frown. She can't say she's looking forward to night shifts. "How did you and Zeke manage every other night before Cory joined?"

"We had someone else, but he's gone now."

"Gone?..."

Four nods, his expression is serious and grim. "Dauntless members have to leave when they get to a certain age. You know that, right?"

"Oh… yeah, I know. I just didn't think of that," she says quietly.

"Yeah… For today, just focus on getting used to the place and how to work the security program. I'll teach you what Cory's doing some other time," he concludes and gives her a slight smile. "And I guess, welcome to the control room."

-x-

"_So this is where you work?" Tris asks as she looks around the room that's filled with giant screens and electronic gadgets._

_Tobias shrugs casually. "Most of the time."_

"_Looks pretty boring," she comments lightheartedly. Her hand skims the random objects on the black table in front of her. She picks up a camera that has been opened up and examines the inside with curiosity._

"_It's actually not too bad. Training initiates was a good change but I'm kind of glad to be back here. Plus, there are some perks to the job," he says with a smirk._

"_Hm, like what"? She asks distractedly._

"_Like getting to see my girlfriend even when she's acting as an ambassador halfway across the city." He wraps his arms around her and her breath hitches when she feels the warmth of his chest against her back._

"_I'm not sure I like that, to be honest." Tris puts the camera down and turns around with a frown. "It's kind of …unsettling to know you're always watching me."_

"_I'm not _always_ watching you," Tobias says with a chuckle. He leans down until their foreheads are touching. "I don't want to be possessive and I'll try my best not to be. But I just want to make sure you're alright, especially when you're at places like Erudite, where people are used to scrutinizing every tiny detail. I just want to make sure you're safe."_

"_Hm," is all she can say, because their faces are so close she's incapable of thinking. Still, he lingers there, watching her with his deep blue eyes as they breathe the same air. He has a small smile on his face and she knows he's waiting for her to be bold, to be brave._

_She closes the distance between them with a kiss he eagerly returns and wraps her arms around his neck. Her body relaxes against him and she feels the day's tiredness flowing through her. He's like a reprieve for her from the difficult world outside, because with him, she can be herself and be safe. She sighs contently against their kiss and she feels his tongue running along her lower lip before diving in to meet her own. The tiredness in her quickly dissipates when she feels a mischievous hand slide under her shirt to leave soft feathery touches on her stomach before travelling towards her back._

_Tris lets out an unexpected giggle as Tobias lifts her from the ground and gently set her on the table. She vaguely feels herself knocking the opened camera onto the floor and hears the clinks and clanks of screws that follow after it, but she's too preoccupied to care. His lips return to her, pressing against the tattoos on her collarbone before leaving a trail of kisses up her neck and jaw. She wraps her legs around his waist and pulls him closer, because he's never close enough, and her fingers return to the tangles of his hair. Their breathing is ragged and heavy, and it's the only sound she can hear aside from the loud beating of her heart and the soft humming of the computers. When he breathily whispers her name against her ear, she pulls his hair lightly to get him to face her so she can claim his lips again._

_This kiss is sloppier and a bit more hurried. She can feel her passion and desire for him in the form of a tiny bird that wants to take flight in her stomach. She's still afraid and scared, and she's not ready, but what they have right now feels right. Even though she doesn't love him yet, she knows he's someone she wants to fall in love with._

_The click of an opening door is the sound that pulls them apart. Tris pushes Tobias gently and quickly hops off the table, all the while hiding her flushed face. Tobias just smiles sheepishly at the newcomers. _

_Zeke whistles loudly. "Someone's being naughty in here," he says with a wicked grin._

"_You two can probably make use of the lock." Will tries to hide his smirk but fails terribly._

"_You should be saying that to Zeke. Just wait until you walk in on him and Shauna," Tobias counters._

"_You'd be like that too if both of you weren't from Abnegation," Zeke tells him. "Ask Will, I'm sure he knows all about it."_

_Will purses his lips together. "Um, I-"_

"_Can we please stop… talking about… whatever we're talking about?" Tris asks nervously and a giggle escapes her. She can't help but laugh because this situation is so foreign to her and it's making her feel insane._

"_Yeah, okay," Zeke says easily despite the teasing glint in his eyes. He walks over to them and picks up the opened camera from the floor. "How about you explain what happened to the camera I was trying to fix then?"_

"_Well, that was his fault," Tris replies innocently while pointing at Tobias. "He made me knock it over."_

_Tobias looks at her with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile tugging at his lips. "Seriously?"_

"_Yeah, you made me knock it over," she repeats._

"_But you started it."_

"_No, I didn't. You-"_

"_If I remember correctly, you kissed me first."_

_Tris give him a playful glare while Will laughs heartily in the background._

"_Oh, just get out of here, both of you. I don't wanna watch you guys flirt," Zeke says, rolling his eyes. "Go grab dinner, or continue what you were doing earlier in your rooms."_

"_Hey, you can't give commands here. I have seniority over you," Tobias argues as Tris pull at his wrist, trying to get him out the door._

"_Just go, man. Look how eager the lady is," Zeke replies with a smirk._

"_We're going to grab dinner!" Tris yells angrily before the control room door shuts behind them._

* * *

AN: The _italicized_ scenes are connected but don't always occur in order. Ex, the scene where Tris gets the IV tattoo in the previous chapter happens after the italic scene in this chapter. The orders of these aren't particularly important. They're just broken fragments. :)

I didn't plan to have Tris work in the control room when I wrote chapter 1 (which was only a few days ago). If I had, I'd probably put Uriah in there (because he's awesome!) instead of a random OC. But I guess it'll be an interesting experience writing an OC and giving Cory his own personality and such. As of now, I don't think he'll have a prominent role in the story.


	5. Chapter 05

**Chapter 05**

Tris walks quietly through the halls, passing other Dauntless members who are also heading to their workplaces. Her first day yesterday was uneventful and consisted mostly of learning the basics of her job. She suspects today will be no different. If she's lucky, perhaps Four won't dump as much information on her. Tris can feel a sense of déjà vu. Even though Zeke is a friend and Cory is easy to befriend, Four still seems like her instructor. She wonders if she can ever see a friend in him.

She enters the control room and finds that she's the first to arrive, aside from Cory who stayed overnight for his shift.

"Morning," she greets with a smile.

"Hey," Cory replies wearily.

Tris sits down beside him. "Long night?"

"Yeah, the night shifts are always boring. You'll get used to it though," he tells her encouragingly. "When's your night shift?"

"Tomorrow night, I think."

The door to the control room opens and Zeke and Four walks in.

"It's the last day of the month," Zeke announces in a sing-song voice.

"So…what?" Tris asks confusedly.

"We visit the Amity on the last day of every month," Four tells her.

"The Amity greenhouses are humid so the cameras there require a bit more maintenance. And it's just security protocol to check on them once in a while since they're so secluded from the rest of the city," Cory explains.

Zeke nods approvingly. "Yup. So Four's gonna take one of you noobs with him since neither of you have gone before."

"Is it alright if Tris goes?" Cory asks. Tris looks at him strangely.

"Are you sure? You don't want to see your family?" Four asks him.

"I do, but… I think it'll be easier if I didn't," he says quietly with his head down.

Four gives an understanding nod. "You okay with going then?" He asks Tris.

"Sure."

-x-

Tris follows Four to the train tracks outside the Dauntless compound and waits for the train to arrive. The sky is a clear light blue with wisps of cloud splayed here and there, like white paint strokes on a blue canvas. The fresh air is cool as it enters her lungs and she can't hide a giddy smile as she kicks at a stray pebble.

"Have you not been out in a while?" Four adjusts the black backpack on his shoulders and watches her with an amused smile.

"No," she answers truthfully. "I don't even know why. I mean, I know I can step outside whenever I want but I guess, since the compound is so convenient, there isn't really a need."

He chuckles at her rambling. "You should still get some sunshine. I hear it's supposed to help you grow. No wonder you're so tiny."

"Hey!" She shouts indignantly, but laughs afterwards.

The train's rumbling grows louder and louder before it comes into view. The two of them break into a run as the train comes closer. Four gets on first, using the handle to pull himself in. He then reaches out to help her. Tris takes Four's hand and jumps into the moving train. She thanks him and he replies with a curt nod.

She watches him sit down before taking a seat with her back against the opposite wall. The doors and windows are open, and the breeze that blows through is refreshing. Tris stares out the door to her side and watches the scenery pass by as Four does the same. Truth be told, she wasn't too happy about going to Amity with Four alone but she agreed because she understood why Cory didn't want to go. She figured the trip would be a little awkward and uncomfortable seeing they weren't exactly friends. She doesn't particularly dislike him and she isn't intimidated by him, but she's not the overtly friendly type and he didn't seem to be either which just makes becoming friends difficult.

So as they both sit on the moving train and watch the city buildings grow smaller, Tris is surprised by how comfortable it feels. A silence has settled between them but she doesn't feel the need to fill it. She steals a glance at Four and notice that his forehead is creased, as if in thought. He has a quiet demeanor that sometimes comes off as cold or menacing but Tris thinks there's more to his character. The way he encouraged her when she asked him for help about changing jobs, and they way he just playfully teased her as they waited for the train just now show a different side of him. Unconsciously, she's drawn in by his mysteriousness.

They jump off the train near the gate of the fence. Four speaks with a Dauntless guard he's familiar with who lets them through. It's a short walk from the fence to the Amity compound. Fields of crop stretches towards the horizon as Amity members dressed in orange and red work to improve them. Tris can hear singing in the fields as well, but it's not just one voice or several distinct voices. Everyone in the field is singing the same song, in harmony, like many instruments of a band. It's a beautiful and peaceful tune that memorizes her.

They head towards a group of sparse buildings that she guesses is the headquarters and living spaces for the Amity. Farther away, she sees rows of greenhouses with glass windows that show crops within. When they arrive, a woman comes to greet them.

"It's good to see you, Four," she says. Her hair loosely covers one side of her face but Tris can still see the scar that stretches from her eyebrow to her lips.

"It's good to see you too. This is Tris, she's new in the control room. Tris, this is Johanna Reyes, the representative of Amity," Four says.

"It's nice to meet you." Tris shakes Johanna's hand hesitantly. Even though handshaking is a Dauntless greeting and she's the Dauntless in this case, Tris is not confident about the gesture.

Johanna smiles at them kindly. "I suppose you're here to check the cameras. Feel free to go about as you like, but let me know if you need anything. The cafeteria is also opened to you for lunch."

"Thank you," Tris says while Four nods. Johanna walks in one of the buildings while Four leads Tris to the greenhouses. They spend several hours examining and cleaning the many cameras in the greenhouses with the equipment Four brought. He teaches her how to open the camera, the various parts of the device, and how to clean them and inspect for damage. Most of the cameras are too high up for her due to the short ladder they borrowed from the Amity so she only gets to clean a few of them. For the most part, Tris just waits and passes Four the different equipments he needs while he stands on the ladder to reach the cameras.

By lunchtime, Tris's stomach is grumbling even though she hasn't worked much. The two of them enter the Amity cafeteria and receive a few odd stares due to their black clothing. She follows Four to the side where they line up for food. The concept is new to her since Dauntless have food served on the table during their meal times. In Amity, members can eat at any time but they have to line up to get food. They also don't get to choose what to eat. Tris receives a tray with a bowl of soup, a bowl of fried rice, and a lone slice of bread on a plate. She eyes Four's tray and notice that it's the same.

They find a place to sit and begin their lunch. Tris decides to start on the bread first.

"Don't eat the bread," Four says, without looking up from his soup. "It tastes bad."

Tris stares at the bread curiously. "Maybe I'll like it," she counters.

He rolls his eyes. "Fine, whatever."

She ignores him and takes a bite out of it while Four watches her carefully.

"So?"

"It's… alright," Tris says stubbornly, even though the bread does taste bad. "It's …kind of strange, but it's alright."

"Sure, it is," Four replies with a smirk.

She breaks the bread into piece and puts it in her soup. "I take it you're not gonna eat yours then?"

"Nope."

"In Abnegation, we were taught not to waste food."

"I know. But… let's just say, there's a reason why the Amity are supposed to eat a slice for every meal," he tells her quietly.

Tris looks at him confused before an idea hits her. "Is there something in the bread?" she asks.

Four doesn't answer but she can see the answer in his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" she hisses.

"I told you not to eat it," he says smugly.

"Because 'it tastes bad'," Tris says, rolling her eyes. She looks at her bowl of soup with pieces of bread floating about and frowns.

Four laughs at her predicament. "You can still eat it. It's not… harmful."

"Are you sure?" Tris asks tentatively and stares at her soup as if it contains poison.

Four sighs. He takes of a piece of his own bread and pops it into his mouth before giving her an expectant look.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, if you die from the bread, we'll die together."

"Well that's reassuring," Tris says sarcastically, with a smile tugging at her lips.

They finish their lunch before too long. Tris finishes everything but leaves the soggy bread pieces at the bottom of her soup bowl. Similarly, Four doesn't touch the bread again after that one piece he's had. They both return to the greenhouses to resume their work on the cameras, with Tris inspecting and cleaning the cameras she can reach and Four doing the rest. The two of them work diligently with little conversation, but like the train ride, it's not awkward. Eventually, Tris realizes she finds his company comforting.

It takes another few hours before they're done all the camera maintenance.

"You wait here. I'll just go tell Johanna we're leaving," Four instructs when they arrive back at the main Amity buildings.

"Okay." Tris watches him enter one of the buildings before she starts to look around the area. She begins to walk towards the apple orchard to her right. There are fallen apples at the base of the trees, some rotten and some ripe. She can smell the sweet scent from the fruits and they bring her a memory from the past.

Tris smiles at her mind's image of her Mother picking apples in this very orchard. When she and Caleb were young, their mother brought them here to help with the Amity harvest. They had helped picked apples at least once a year. She can't remember which year it was when they stopped coming, because their mother was gone.

Tris walks through the orchard looking for a tree with a strong low branch. She heaves herself up, standing on the low branch carefully before climbing towards another one. Her movements cause the leaves to rustle and several apples fall from the branches with soft thumps.

"What are you doing?"

The voice startles her and almost causes her to slip. She looks down to see Four standing at the base of the tree with his arms crossed.

"Nothing," she answers innocently. She moves up another branch carefully, and then another again. Through the leaves, she can see the long stretch of Amity crop fields and the city buildings in the distance. Four is still watching her, as if trying to figure her out.

"Come," Tris says with a smile. "The view is nice up here."

He looks at her and the apple tree hesitantly. After taking a deep breath, Four begins climbing the tree as well. She continues manoeuvring through the branches with Four following her until they find a stable spot with an opening between the leaves.

"Look, you can see the hub from here." She points at the tallest city building with its white prongs.

"Hm," Four responds distractedly. He's sitting on a branch close to hers and looking around them anxiously.

Tris raises an eyebrow as she stares at him. His breathing is a bit too heavy for their short climb and he's fidgeting around with a panicky look in his eyes.

"Are you afraid of heights?" She asks carefully.

"Yeah."

"Oh…" She expected him to lie or give her an indirect answer, but he didn't. Tris finds that there's something admirable in the way he admitted to his fears so simply. "Why'd you come up here then?"

"I don't know…" he answers while looking at her sheepishly.

Tris laughs a little at his cluelessness. She picks a nearby apple from its branch and takes a bite from it. The sweet and sour tinge of the apple greets her, and she picks another apple and hands it to Four.

"Thanks." He smiles, taking the apple from her.

They sit in the apple tree and watch the world below them for a few minutes, enjoying the gentle breeze and the sweet taste of the apples. As they descend from the tree, they hear shouting from outside the orchard.

"He stole it! He stole it! It was mine!"

Four and Tris run towards the front of the Amity buildings, where they find Johanna Reyes with another woman and two little boys. A toy dog is on the ground between them.

The woman puts a hand on one of the boy's shoulders. "Now, Randy, you should be sharing-"

"But he didn't even ask!" The boy, Randy, shouts with tears in his eyes.

"Is that true, Walter?" The woman asks the other boy.

Walter looks away defiantly with a pout. "He always says no when I ask," he mutters.

The woman sighs tiredly. "Okay, why don't you two have a bit of time out? Come with me," she says, taking the kids by their hands and leading them inside the building.

Johanna shakes her head slightly while picking up the toy from the floor. When she turns around and sees Tris and Four, she gives them a smile.

"Is everything alright?" Tris asks her.

"Yes, just bickering between children. It's not uncommon since they're still so young. They'll be fine after they've been given some peace serum," Johanna explains gently.

Four nods in a business-like manner. "We were just leaving," he tells her.

"Alright, have a safe trip back. And it was nice meeting you, Tris."

Tris waves goodbye to her, and follows Four down the main road which will lead them back to the gate of the fence. As they walk, the Amity crop fields on either side of the road eventually becomes grassland. The sounds of the Amity song also become lost to the wind.

"Can I ask you something?" Tris breaks the silence between them.

"Hm?"

"Johanna mentioned a peace serum. What is that, exactly?"

Four glances at her momentarily before focusing back on the road. "It's what it sounds like. It's a serum that induces peace, sort of like a happy drug."

"A happy drug?" Tris repeats with a frown. "So they're gonna drug the kids so they stop fighting? That's… just wrong…"

"According to the Amity, it's for the best. I doubt it'd be possible for them to live peacefully if they didn't have that serum."

"That's what they put in the bread," Tris states matter-of-factly.

"Yeah."

When they approach the fence, the Dauntless guards open the gates for them and they pass without trouble.

"I didn't know something like that exists," Tris says quietly as they wait along the train tracks. "A peace serum."

"Every faction has its own serum. We have the fear serum, the Candor have the truth serum, and Amity, the peace serum," Four explains. "The Abnegation have the memory serum and the Erudite have the death serum."

"The death serum?!" Tris exclaims with wide blue eyes. "Why would they need a death serum?"

He shakes his head grimly. "I don't know."

The train's metal exterior gleams brightly in the late afternoon sun as it arrives. Four jumps into the moving train first and then helps Tris in, similar to the events of their morning.

Tris walks a few steps away from the door before sitting down against the wall. Four sits beside her, making sure there's space between them so their shoulders wouldn't accidently touch if the train jerks.

"So the memory serum helps people remember things?" Tris asks after a while.

"No, the opposite. It makes people forget things, like resetting their memories," Four says with a frown.

"Reset?..." she mumbles quietly. "Why would the Abnegation have something like that?"

"The Abengation believe in second chances. For the Factionless, taking the memory serum is the only option if they want to be part of society again. It's not a choice that most of them make but it's available to them. After they take the memory serum, they're told of a fabricated life and are implemented back into society. Most of them end up in Abnegation or Amity afterwards."

"That's horrible. Why would anyone want to sacrifice their memory?" Her heart clenches at the thought.

"Sometimes people just want to be happy, even if it's not real," Four tells her softly.

Tris shakes her head in disapproval. She can't imagine throwing away her memories for a better future. Her memories make up who she is, both the good and the bad. She would never want to forget her family and friends, or the obstacles she's overcome. What would it be like to live a life built on lies? Would it be any less real? Would she still be the same person?

She's glad her faction has a serum that induces fear and not bravery. They aren't just given a drug that makes them fearless. Instead, they learn to overcome their fear and to act in spite of fear. The thought makes her proud to be Dauntless. Arriving at the Amity faction earlier, she had admired them for their harmony and peace. Knowing that it may be the result of a chemical serum makes her feel disgusted.

The mention of the death serum disgusted her too, but now she can't decide which is worse, killing someone or manipulating them with a memory serum. She finds it ridiculously fitting for Abnegation to have a memory serum. The faction that values selflessness has a serum that helps one forgets oneself.

"Would you ever take the memory serum? If you really wanted to forget something?' Tris asks over the rumbling of the train.

Four considers the question for a minute, before taking a deep breath and responding.

"I think I would've wanted to at one point, but I've realized that forgetting the bad things in life is just running away. It's an act of cowardice," he says wistfully. "And sometimes, there are scars you can't forget about. They're always there as a reminder."

She pulls her knees close to her and places her cheek on top while watching him to the side. "But they make you stronger," she adds for him.

"Yeah," he replies with a smile. "I guess that's why people get tattoos. Scars are a forced reminder for the bad things in life, but tattoos are often the good things you want to remember. Family and friends, hopes and dreams, achievements and victories. They make you stronger too."

Tris furrows her brow in thought.

"What do the birds on your collarbone represent?" Four asks.

"My family. My parents and my brother," Tris says while watching him curiously. She's never actually seen his tattoo since he hides it under his shirt, but she knows it exists because she can sometimes see a bit of it over the top of his shirts. "What does your tattoo represent?"

"It's a secret." He gives her a small grin and through the sunlight, Tris truly looks at him for the first time. She sees the speck of light blue in his left eye and the way his ears stick out. She sees his slightly hooked nose and the faint scar on his chin. She sees a strong jaw and a lower lip that is fuller than the top one. When she realizes he's looking at her with concern, as if wondering what's wrong, she looks away and tries to hide the blush of realizing she just openly stared at him.

She tries to push away the realization of him being rather handsome and focus on another thought. He had said tattoos are good things that you want to remember, and it reminded her of the tattoo on her thigh. She still can't remember what it represents and its presence had worried her immensely, but now, a part of her feels at peace. Even though she's bothered by not having the memory of the tattoo, the tattoo itself doesn't trouble her anymore. After hearing what he said, she knows, with certainty, the tattoo represents a good memory.


	6. Chapter 06

**Chapter 06**

Tris listens to Christina's dramatic sigh as she stares up at the giant hole above her that shows the evening sky. They're both lying in the Net, relaxing and having an after-dinner talk.

"You know what'd be funny?" Christina asks. "If someone jumped down right now. 'Splat!' and we'd be goners."

Tris scrunches her nose at the thought. "I don't think I consider that funny."

Christina lets out a dry laugh and then sighs again.

"What's with you lately? You've been kind of down."

"I don't know…It just feels like something's missing. Maybe I miss my mom, or my sister," she muses with a sad smile. "Or it might even be my dog. We used to have a pet dog at home. His name was Chunker."

"Yeah, you told me."

"Oh, I did?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, point is, it feels like something's missing. Or I'm missing something." Christina sighs again, this time frustrated. "I don't really know what's wrong with me."

Tris looks at her worriedly. "Maybe you need to step out of the compound for a while. I didn't notice it until I left for Amity yesterday, but being underground all the time really wears you out."

"Hm, maybe."

They both lie there in a moment of silence. Faint voices can be heard coming from the Pit where most people hang out in the evening.

Christina turns so that she's facing Tris. "Do you ever get the feeling that you've forgotten something? Like, there's a nagging feeling that's telling you you're supposed to do something but you can't remember what it is?"

"All the time," Tris mumbles, closing her eyes briefly. She bites the inside of her cheek uneasily. "Actually, there's something I want to tell you."

Christina sits up and watches her, waiting for her to continue.

"I have this tattoo…on the back of my leg. Do you… remember it?"

"You never told me about it."

"Yeah, exactly. Well, …I don't remember getting it either."

"What?" Christina says incredulously.

"I don't know when I got it or what it means. I just noticed it one day in the mirror," Tris explains.

"What does it look like?"

"It says 'IV'."

"Huh?"

She rolls her eyes at Christina's intelligent reply. "The letters. It says the letters I and V."

A smirk forms on Christina's lips. "You mean something like, I plus V with a heart around it?"

"No." Tris lets out a small laugh. "It's plain. Just 'IV'." She reaches one arm out and draws the letters in the air above her.

"And you don't remember it?"

"Nope."

"Did you ask Tori?"

"I did, she doesn't remember either," Tris says. "No. Actually, it's more like she doesn't know about it at all. And I wouldn't have known about it either if I didn't see it in the mirror, almost like it's not supposed to exist."

"That's weird," Christina comments. "Can I see it?"

"Not right now."

"Why not?"

Tris gives her a strange look and says, "I'm not gonna strip right here, Christina."

"Fine," Christina huffs as she plops back down on the net, causing it to sway. "What's wrong with us?" She asks after a moment.

This time, Tris is the one who sighs. "I don't know."

-x-

Another yawn escapes her lips. Tris tightens her blonde ponytail once again, hoping the tension from pulling her hair will keep her awake. The clock reads 11:00. She still has many hours to go before her night shift is over. The cameras prove to be uninteresting. Most of the screens are still except for a few individuals moving about here or there. Even the Factionless sector is quiet, with most of its inhabitants sleeping.

The conversation she had with Christina earlier plays in her mind. She does get that odd feeling Christina spoke about, the nagging feeling that she's forgotten something. The only difference is she knows what she's forgotten, the tattoo being one of them. The other is her mother.

These past weeks, Tris tried not to think about her mother because it makes her feel ashamed. Ashamed, because she can't remember when her mother passed away or even going to her mother's funeral. It was such a significant event in her life, yet she can't remember a thing about it. The more she thinks about it, the more she feels guilty and ashamed, and the more she believes something's wrong.

As Tris frowns at the clock's slow moving hands, an idea hits her. She refocuses herself to the computer screen in front of her and opens up the citizen database like how Four taught her to. The database is used to help them identify people in the camera footage should anything happen. A photograph and basic information of each citizen is displayed. Tris clicks on the search bar and types in '_Natalie Prior_'. After several seconds, a window pops up, showing her mother's information and photograph.

Tris feels a bitter pain in her chest as she sees at her mother's photo. A part of her just misses her mother but the other part of her feels uncertainty. She remembers her mother to look younger. There is no doubt the photograph in front of her is of her mother, but she remembers her mother to have less wrinkles around her green eyes and no grey streaks in her dark brown hair. Tris tries to recall her last memories of her mother, but is unable to. Whatever memories she does have of her mother are vague and sparse, and it causes frustration to well inside of her.

On the top right corner of the window, 'Deceased' is displayed in red block letters. Tris lets her eyes scan through the information on the window though there's only one thing she really wants to know.

_Date of Death: _

Blank. There is no date beside the words 'Date of Death'. Tris frowns at her computer screen. It doesn't make sense.

She randomly clicks on a few names in the database until she finds some other deceased citizens. Abby Morrison. Paul Seeley. Risa Turner. All deceased, and have a date of death. Why is her mother's date of death not shown?

Tris jumps in her seat when she hears a jostling sound from behind her. She turns to see the knob of the door shake, making the odd sound. She quickly closes the windows on her computer and before she can scan the cameras to check who's outside the control room, the door opens.

Four enters with a key in his hand. He closes the door promptly before turning to her.

"Why'd you lock the door?" He asks, staring at her wide shocked eyes.

"Because, just in case…" she trails off. It doesn't sound very dauntless of her to say she's afraid of a stranger or drunkard barging into the room, so she changes the subject. "Did you forget something?"

"No." He takes a seat at another computer. "I just thought I'd keep an eye on you since it's your first night shift."

"I can take care of everything here," Tris retorts defensively. "It's not like there's much happening anyways."

"I know. What I mean is, I'm making sure you don't fall asleep on the job." His tone is serious but she can see a teasing glint in his eyes, and it allows her to relax a little.

"I'm not gonna fall asleep," she mutters under her breath.

"I bet you already did. You looked pretty guilty just now."

"I did not."

"Hm."

"I didn't," she says more firmly.

Four finally gives in to a small smile. "What were you up to then?"

Tris gestures vaguely at the large monitors around the room. "Watching the cameras…?"

"But you didn't see me coming."

"…Fine, I wasn't watching the cameras," she says sheepishly. "I was looking through the citizen database"

Four raises an eyebrow, confused and a bit surprise with the honest answer. "Why?" He asks.

"I just wanted to check something." Tris shakes her head dismissively. "Hey, are you in the database too?"

"Of course I am. Everyone is," he replies. His forehead creases as he stares at her suspiciously. "Were you looking me up?"

"What? No! No, I um… I wasn't." She feels heat rising up to her cheeks. Why does she sound so guilty even though she's not lying? "I just thought… it'd be weird. I mean, so the database knows you as Four?"

"No, you'd have to type in my real name," He says, watching her carefully.

"Oh. Okay, yeah, that's what I meant to ask…" She bites her bottom lip. "What _is_ your real name?"

"You _are_ trying to look me up," Four accuses with a lop-sided smile.

"No, no, I'm not," Tris says waving her hands furiously. "I was just…curious." She clears her throat, hoping it'll clear away her nervousness too. "Actually, I was… checking something about my mom."

"Oh."

"There are some things I can't really remember about her…" She sighs. "You know what you told me yesterday? The memory serum? After someone takes it, do they remember taking it?"

He frowns at her. "Are you… You think you took the memory serum?"

"No…Well, I don't know. How else can you explain why I don't…" She takes a deep breath before continuing softly. "I don't remember when my mom died."

"…What does the database say?"

"It doesn't say anything. Her date of death is left blank."

Four turns towards his computer, his eyebrows furrowed. "What's your mom's name?"

"Natalie Prior," Tris says, watching him open the same window from a while ago. "It's not just that…there are other things I can't remember about."

"That's strange," Four mumbles while scrolling through Natalie Prior's information.

"So? Do people remember after they take a memory serum?"

He turns back around to face her. "I don't know. But Tris, I don't think a memory serum would work on you."

"Why not?"

"Because you're Divergent," he says quietly. "It's one of the reasons why Abnegation checks for Divergence in the Factionless population. Not all of them are eligible to take the serum. And anyway, there's no reason why you'd have access to a memory serum, and if you did accidently take it, your friends would probably notice. People are usually in a daze for a couple of days after taking it."

"Oh…" She bites the inside of her cheek uncertainly. "How do you know so much about the other factions?"

"I… " Four stares at her blankly before shaking his head a little. "Someone told me, an ambassador who visits the other factions often."

"An ambassador?"

"Yeah…"

-x-

The woman pulls back from the microscope, blinking her green eyes wearily as they readjust to the dim lights of the lab.

"This was the memory serum they used?" she asks calmly.

The lab technician beside her nods. Her white coat glows in the dimness of the lab and her metal name tag glistens as it catches the light of a nearby lamp. It reads 'Juanita'.

"Yeah, that's it," Nita says. "They used it after knocking out the entire population with another chemical. I think it was supposed to keep the population down for two to three days. Is that right, Matthew?"

Matthew looks up from the electronic pad in his hand. "Yeah. This new serum has a similar transmitter as the fear serum, allowing information to be sent to our computers to simulate an image. This allows our staff to manually pick out and alter memories as they see fit. Having the population unconscious for a few days give them time to do that," Matthew explains. "Having the population unconscious also lets us extract individuals from the city, if necessary. Although David tried not to make it a priority, he was very keen in removing you from Chicago, Natalie."

Natalie Prior pinches the bridge of her nose tiredly, trying to keep her anger at bay. "The memory serum I know of entirely erases a person's memory," she says simply.

"Well, the researchers here have spent a lot of time enhancing it. What you have in Chicago entirely erases a person's episodic memory," Matthew says. He points at the slide on the microscope in front of them. "This one, allows manipulation of it, which ensures it works on Divergents because the process is rather manual. However, the serum is not perfected so there were some side effects. Particularly, some individual's semantic memory seems to have been damaged as well. Not very surprising since both types of memories involve similar areas of the brain. Overall, the serum is still sloppy. I'm surprised they actually used it."

"The whole resetting process is sloppy," Nita scoffs, rolling her eyes. "The staff had to manually go through thousands of people's memories. I doubt it's very precise. Sooner or later, the people in the city will notice some of their memories don't match."

Matthew shakes his head. "Actually, I hear everything is pretty smooth since the reset. Only Tris seems to notice the… irregularities."

"I hope she figures it out. If anyone has a chance of figuring out this experiment from the inside, it'd be Tris." Nita says.

Natalie smiles sadly at the name. Tris. Beatrice. It's strange to hear her daughter's nickname coming from Matthew and Nita. It sounds as if they're friends, but the truth is neither of them actually knows Beatrice, at least not personally.

"What does Beatrice notice?" She asks.

"She's disturbed by the little memories she have of you," Matthew answers. "And she can't remember your 'death'. Most people who died in Jeanine's attack, both Dauntless and Abnegation, were erased from the system completely. Like Tris' Friend, Will. But some are difficult to erase. Your life can still make sense if the existence of your children, siblings, or friends, are erased, but it doesn't make sense if someone's parent doesn't exist. That's why they didn't erase you entirely from Tris' memory. I do believe some have been modified though."

Natalie bites the inside of her cheek, a nervous habit she shares with her daughter. Her daughter could have forgotten her existence entirely, but she didn't. Nevertheless, Natalie can't feel grateful for it because of the situation she's in.

"There's also that tattoo she has. The one that says four. Their relationship's been erased so she doesn't remember the tattoo," Nita says

"Yup." Matthew sighs tiredly. "Tris' divergence signs are strong so the higher-ups wanted her to have a quieter life to hide it. They also believed her relationship with Tobias made her stronger so they deleted it. The two of them know too much together."

"Is that why they made her a tattoo artist?" Nita cuts in.

Matthew nods. "They deleted her memories as an ambassador. A lot of the things she learned from being an ambassador were also damaged in the process since the memories are so closely linked."

"But she works in the control room now, with Four," Nita says harshly. "Funny, she's making her own choices and defying the plans the Bureau has for her without even knowing it."

Natalie feels a hint of pride for her daughter's strength, but she's also worried. If Beatrice begins to realize something's wrong with the city, if she steps out of line and becomes a threat to the experiment, she has no doubt the Bureau would harm Beatrice to save the experiment.

"I need to speak with David," Natalie announces.

"He won't be back for a week. He's in Washington," Matthew informs her.

"I need to speak to him when he gets back then," Natalie corrects.

"I'll try to arrange something for you," Matthew replies, smiling sympathetically at her.

Natalie nods at him. "Thank you. And thank you both for bringing me up to date with everything." She gives a small smile to Nita before stepping out of the lab.

Approximately a month ago, simulated Dauntless members raided the Abnegation sector under Jeanine Matthew's control. Natalie suspects the Erudite leader was after Amanda Ritter's video. During the attack, she led her husband, their neighbours, and a few others to safety. That's all she remembers before fainting and waking up in a cell of the Bureau of Genetic Welfare.

David had spoken to her then, telling her about the attack and the memory reset, and the story had made her furious. For the first time in many years, she lost her temper. She was yelling and screaming, punching and kicking, and so, they locked her in the cell for weeks afterwards, deeming her as 'unstable' and 'still immersed in the experiment'. In all honesty, Natalie admits she was unstable. She spent days in the cell, sobbing and wondering if her family was still alive, or if they remember her at all. She eventually calmed down, realizing the Bureau would never release her unless she did so.

She was released only earlier today, and Matthew and Nita offered to explain what's been happening in Chicago.

Jeanine Matthew has been removed from the experiment with a fabricated death. Her memories have been entirely erased and the Bureau is still considering whether to put her in the fringe or have her work in the labs.

Following the memory reset, Chicago slowly returned to a state of normalcy in the span of two weeks. A new leader for Erudite had also been elected. Most people continue to live their life without realizing the whole ordeal, without realizing their memories have been sifted through, altered, and erased.

Her feet bring her to the camera room, to the circle of screens that watch the city of Chicago. One of the workers there gives her a smile, a pitiful one and Natalie can't bring herself to smile back.

She watches the camera that shows a part of the Abnegation sector. Her eyes focus on the house she recognizes as hers. Her home. Andrew must be sleeping by now. She wonders if he dreams of a wife who died many years ago.

Natalie spots another screen, one that shows a lab in the Erudite building. She smiles at the image of her son, wearing a giant pair of goggles and holding test tubes in his hands. He hides a yawn, glancing at the clock in one corner before continuing with his research.

She scans the screens briefly before finding the one that shows the Dauntless control room. Beatrice and Tobias are there, talking and smiling contently. Natalie marvels at the way the two easily interact with each other, and she wonders what it feels like to find first love for the second time.

Taking a deep breath, she tries to blink back the tears from seeing her children. Was this the experiment she had childishly agreed to be a part of many years ago? An experiment that allows scientists to erase other people's memories? Is this ethical?

Natalie steps back from the camera screens and exits the room. She needs to be calm and be determined. She needs to stop the experiment because this isn't ethical. This isn't what she wanted.

* * *

AN: I almost decided to stop writing, but my head kept turning with ideas so I somehow managed through this chapter. After laying out everything in the last scene, it feels like I just made it through a hurdle. Hopefully the next few chapters will be easier. I also hope there aren't too many loop holes.

I don't want to explain GDs, GPs, the experiments, Natalie's role in the experiment, etc. I think I've already spent too much time explaining things. Just assume it's the same as in canon unless otherwise stated.

The story is listed under the romance category and I did plan (and do plan) to have romance in it but it's also developing in another direction. I guess I'll put it as romance/sci-fi for the time being. The summary is also subjected to change, since I haven't actually written one yet. Summaries aren't my forte. D:

Anyway, review, pretty please? (: I'd like to know how this story is doing. Is anything confusing? Should I provide a summary of the events leading up to the story, lay it out clearly in an AN? Any ways I can improve in my writing? Anything particular you want to see in the story?


	7. Chapter 07

**Chapter 07**

"So…"

Tris looks up from her plate of breakfast and gives Marlene an inquisitive stare.

"What's with you and Four lately?"

"What do you mean?" Tris asks, poking at her scrambled eggs with a fork.

"You two have been flirting for the past week."

"We don't flirt," Tris replies. She tries to ignore Christina's scoff and Lynn's eye roll. "I don't even know what that word means."

"Which is why you _think_ you don't flirt," Lynn cuts in. "Even I can see it. The guy smiles around you and that's really saying something."

Christina smirks at them. "Yeah, since when did Four smile, right?"

Tris swallows a bite of her breakfast before answering carefully. "We're just colleagues. That's why he's more friendly now. …sort of."

"Four, Friendly," Lynn says with disbelief.

Marlene giggles. "C'mon, Tris. There's definitely something between the two of you. Do you like him?"

Tris fights the urge to bite the inside of her cheek. She knows her friends can probably see the blush though. Back in school, she used to wonder what it's like to gossip and talk of silly things with other girls. It feels like aeons ago when she would overhear girls talking about boys they liked in the school cafeteria. Now that she's experiencing it for herself and being the center of attention, she's not sure she likes it.

"We're really ju-"

"Hey, ladies!"

The four of them look to the sound of interruption and find Uriah walking over with a bright smile on his face. He takes a seat beside Marlene.

"Good Mor-"

"Can't you tell we were having a girls talk?" Marlene snaps at him playfully.

"Uh, actually, no. I-"

"You should really sit with your guy friends once in a while. You look like a player, always hanging around the four of us," Christina says.

"He hasn't got other friends," Lynn snickers.

Uriah puts a hand on his chest, feigning hurt. "No need to be rude! I'll leave you girls alone." He stands up and adds, "And just for the record, I have other friends!"

"We're just kidding," Tris says with a laugh, secretly grateful for the distraction. "Sit down, Uri."

Uriah gives her a smile and sits down, reaching for the orange juice. "D'aw. That's why I always like Tris the best."

Tris, Lynn, and Christina roll their eyes while Marlene laughs good-naturedly.

"You know, Tris, you can still give us a yes or no answer," Christina says in a hopeful tone.

"What was the question again?" Tris asks innocently.

Lynn glares at her. "Don't play dumb or we _will_ ask the question in full, even if this idiot's here," she retorts, gesturing at Uriah who shouts an indignant "Hey!"

Tris stares at her friends. Christina's excited smile, Marlene's expectant eyes, Lynn's raised eyebrows, and Uriah's confusion amongst the three. There really is no use in denying since she's almost sure her friends, with the exception of Uriah, already know the answer. She bites her lower lip to stop the uncharacteristic smile bubbling up inside of her and then the Dauntless side in her speaks.

"Maybe, a little," she mumbles.

"Aww…"

"I knew it!"

"Figures."

The three other girls chorus while Uriah just looks confusedly between them.

"Wait, what's the question?" He asks.

"You're not supposed to know, babe." Marlene shoves a piece of toast in his mouth. "Just stay quiet, 'kay?"

Uriah frowns but complies nonetheless.

"So you all ready for tonight?" Lynn asks, and to Tris' relief, changing the subject.

"Yup, it's gonna be so much fun!" Christina gushes while Marlene nods in agreement.

Tris smiles in response as well. Every faction has a day to celebrate their virtues. A day to celebrate justice, or wisdom, or selflessness, or harmony. For the Dauntless, they have a night to celebrate bravery, power, and the wildness of life. It's the only night of the year when the Dauntless are allowed to roam free in the city and make as much ruckus as they want, lighting fireworks and bonfires, shooting paintballs, zip-lining, and of course, getting drunk.

"You're going right, Tris?" Marlene asks.

Tris opens her mouth to speak but Uriah beats her to it.

"Of course she is. They drew sticks for tonight's shift and Zeke got the shortest one," he says with an evil glint. "The loser's been complaining about it all morning."

"Yeah, he was pretty disappointed." Tris laughs.

"Oh, that means Four's going too," Christina says. Her voice is casual but she gives Tris a meaningful glance.

Tris tries to shrug in a nonchalant manner and says, "I guess."

-x-

_Her eyes are bright and animated as they scan through the festivities before her. Many bonfires are set up along Millennium Park. The ones around her are small to prevent heating the metal trellis network above the area where some people are currently sitting on. A group of Dauntless has also claimed the stage and is handing out paintball guns while others are dispersing farther into the city, shouting and chanting._

_She used to secretly look out her Abnegation home window on Dauntless night, half annoyed at the loud noise and half envious of the Dauntless spirit. Now, she's a part of it._

"_Where to first?" Tris asks excitedly, glancing at Tobias._

"_Wherever you want," he replies, smiling at her eagerness. "Watch out for the people overhead or you might get hit with a beer bottle."_

"_Okay," she says and turns around when she hears a loud shouting._

"_Woo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo-loo…"_

_The shouting man runs across the lawn with his arms held up, and his body naked. Tris covers her eyes instinctively and turns away. She hears Tobias laughing beside her and after a few seconds, she starts laughing too._

"_Okay, what was that?!" She asks, peeking between her fingers to check if the coast is clear._

"_I think they're playing Dauntless or Dauntless," he answers with a grin._

"_Like Candor or Dauntless but without the Candor part?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Oh god, I wish I could un-see that," Tris says, still laughing._

_Tobias laughs along with her. When they calm down, he takes her hand, entwining their fingers together. _

"_Come on, I wanna show you something," he says, tugging her along._

_They run across the lawn, dodging people holding sparklers and other dangerously lit items. She loves the feel of the night breeze in her hair and the sound of Dauntless laughter around her._

_Tobias leads her past the bean mirror structure where she once spoke with Caleb, and towards two tall rectangular towers. _

"_I always wondered what these were," she says, motioning at the towers. The normally grey towers are now displaying blue light with a black Dauntless symbol shown in the middle on each side. Water cascades down around the tower._

"_It's a waste of water so they keep it off. We like to turn it on on Dauntless night though," Tobias tells her."They call it Crown Fountain."_

_She nods absentmindedly, admiring the water and LED lights of the towers. There are Dauntless members everywhere, playing around and splashing in the giant puddle in-between. Some stand under the waterfall and casts dark silhouettes against the blue towers. Tris can recognize Marlene and Uriah running around amidst the chaos._

_Before she realizes what's happening, her feet are swept off the floor and Tobias is carrying her. Her eyes widen when she sees his mischievous smile and he begins running towards one of the two towers._

"_No, no, no, Tob- Four! No!" Tris squeals, kicking her feet furiously. She closes her eyes tightly as she feels water fall all around her and she laughs even though her hair, face, and clothes are wet now._

"_Four!" She scolds, while he sets her down. The boy laughs too, despite being just as soaked as she is. Tris reaches out to give him a playful shove but he's already running away, and she finds herself running after him. "Hey!"_

_She weaves through the other black-dressed Dauntless members, trying to catch Tobias. Their feet splashes water all over the place with each step and their laughter is drowned out by the sounds around them. They run past Marlene and Uriah who are right in the middle of the puddle, jumping as hard as they can to make the bigger splash and acting like they're six instead of sixteen. By the time she catches up to Tobias, they're by the other tower. She tries to push him under the waterfall without being pulled along._

"_Come here," Tobias yells over the noise. His usual guarded blue eyes shine brightly with a hint of playfulness as he holds her arm firmly._

_Tris laughs as she tries to push him away. "No! I'm not getting wet again!"_

_The sound of gunfire startles her and she turns around to see bright pink bursts in the sky. She sighs in relief, knowing the sound was not gunfire but fireworks. Another pop sounds and bursts of green lights fill the sky._

_Sensing her momentary distraction, Tobias tugs at her arm sharply and pulls her to him, resulting in both of them getting soaked again. Her laughter joins his when she realizes what just happened. _

_Tris slaps his arm lightly as they stand under the waterfall. "You idiot," she mutters._

_Tobias smiles affectionately at her before leaning down to kiss her; his hands rest on her neck and he tilts her chin upwards to give him better access. She smiles against their kiss and places her hands on his hips, not minding that they're kissing in public again because the rest of the world is too busy to care about them anyways. She tiptoes, lessening their height difference and deepening the kiss._

_When they finally pull away, Tris can see a dash of pink on his cheeks and she has no doubt her cheeks are the same. She can feel the warmth in them despite the cool water beating on her. She takes one of his hands and leads him away from the noisy crowd and giant towers. He follows her without question._

_She lets go of his hand when they get to a quieter area of the park and wrings water out of her long hair._

"_We're never doing that again," she says sternly._

_Tobias raises an eyebrow. "Kissing?"_

"_No," she laughs. "Going under that fountain."_

"_Ah, but we're still gonna kiss."_

_Tris pretends to give him an annoyed look as she ties her hair in a low ponytail. He chuckles at her while ruffling his own hair, trying to get the water out. She can't help but notice the way his shirt is plastered against him like a second skin and even though it's dark, she can make out the contours of his muscles beneath it._

_Tobias cocks his head to the side and gives her a smirk when he notices her staring. "Something catch your eye?" He asks nonchalantly._

"_No," Tris answers in obvious denial. She bites her bottom lip nervously and is about to explain herself but a scream sounds from above them._

"_TRIS!"_

_The two of them look up just in time to see Christina whizzing past them on the zip line, screaming so loud that she drowns out the pops of the fireworks. Tris can only laugh as her friend flies away to another part of the city._

"_You want to go zip-lining?" Tobias asks._

"_Will you go?"_

_He rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably. "You know I can't…"_

"_Then I'm not going either," Tris replies, shaking her head. "But one day, one day we're gonna go zip-lining together."_

_Tobias wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her close. "Okay," he says simply._

_She can hear the certainty of his answer. There is no wavering, nor is there a teasing tone in his voice to suggest he's only agreeing to pacify her. Maybe he believes there will be a day when they'll both be willing to face their fears for each other. She hopes that's what he believes in, because it's what she believes in._

"_You know," she whispers while a hand traces the side of his jaw. "I think I'm falling in love with you."_

_He smiles and kisses her lightly on the nose. "Me too."_

-x-

Tris stands in line, with Christina and Lynn in front of her, and Marlene and Uriah behind, as they wait to receive their paintball equipment.

"I didn't play last year. How does this work, exactly?" Christina asks them.

"It's just paintballing." Lynn explains. "You get neon wristbands, either green or orange that shows what team you're in and you shoot the other team."

"Yup, and the armor has a sensor. Once you're hit, it'll deactivate your gun so you're out," Uriah adds.

The man at the table hands them their equipment and nods.

"That's right. The game ends at midnight. Whichever team has the most members back here at midnight wins. The trains and this park are non-shooting zones, so don't start killing each other until you're out of the area," he tells them with a smirk.

"There's no flag to capture?" Tris asks her friends as they gather around to strap on the armor.

"The game is city-wide so that'd be too hard," Marlene clarifies.

Christina raises an eyebrow. "Wait, who cleans up the paint afterwards? The losing team?"

"The paint dissolves after a few hours, dummy," Lynn mocks. "Don't you remember from initiation?"

"No, they never told us."

"Whatever. What're you teams?" Uriah shows them his wristband. Orange.

"Only Christina and I are green," Marlene points out. "Aww, I'll have to shoot you later, babe."

"Or maybe I'll shoot you first," Uriah counters with a smirk.

Marlene gives him a glare. "We'll see about that. Let's go, Chris. You guys better not follow us!"

Tris follows Uriah and Lynn out of the park and the three jumps on a passing train. They settle only for a few minutes before jumping off again, deciding not to stray too far from the park.

Once they're off, they find Dauntless members shooting at each other not too far away.

"Shit!" Uriah mutters. They run to the side of a nearby building for coverage. "Lynn, cover."

"Why are _you_ giving orders?" Lynn bites back. She turns around to watch their backs.

"We have to get closer," Tris tells them. She moves forward, keeping her stance bent to prevent standing out. The three of them approach the crossfire cautiously, picking out the green players from the orange ones as they move between places. She laughs when Lynn splatters orange ink on her little brother. Lynn hits him square on the chest, causing his armor to turn red to indicate he's out and he storms away angrily.

Tris shoots several people as they continue to move forward. She doesn't bother to look back when she hears Uriah's frustrated groan, indicating he's been shot, but follows Lynn and the other orange players in the area.

"Guess he won't be shooting Mar," Lynn whispers to her with a smirk.

"Yeah," Tris smiles back.

They get a few more green players out before the group begins to disperse. Her team begins to divide as well, chasing down the remaining enemies before they get away. Tris spots a lone individual with a neon green band darting between the trees. She trails after them quietly, entering a large abandoned building that says 'Shedd Aquarium' on one side.

The building is queer and old, with pieces of rubbles and glass strewn all over the floor. There are many glass containers, some that stretch several meters high and could likely fit a few busses within them. However, most of the glass is broken or cracked.

Tris treads lightly, careful not to step on the glass as she tries to search for the band of neon green. The sound of footsteps echoes from across the room and she hides behind a large piece of rubble. Peering out from her hiding place, she sees movement behind a partition and she opens fire. Her paintball barely misses its target and she quickly dodges as a similar paintball whirls past her. An orange one.

"Wait, don't shoot! I'm orange," a voice calls out from across the room.

Tris peeks above the large piece of rubble and sees the person waving a band of orange in the air.

"Four?" She asks in surprise. "Sorry, I... followed someone from the other team in here…"

"Yeah, me too. I'm not sure where he went," he mumbles, looking around warily.

"What is this place?" She asks as they walk towards one of the tall glass containers.

"An aquarium."

"Which means…"

Four gives her a small shrug. "I think it's a museum of fish."

"Fish? Why would there be a museum of fish?"

"I guess the people back then really liked fish," he replies with a chuckle.

She concentrates on the glass wall in front of them, trying to imagine water and many fish swimming behind it. Silvery grey and dark brown fish of various sizes, like the ones they usually serve at the dinner table. The idea sounds ridiculous.

Four pulls her aside just as another paintball zooms by her ear, a green one this time. They take cover behind a nearby wall to avoid the enemy paintballs. Tris crouches and peers around the corner, aiming her gun at the spot the enemy ran behind. Four does the same on the other side of the archway. It doesn't take long before one of their paint balls hit the green player. Tris hits him on the shoulder and his armor turns read.

"Damn it," he shouts heatedly. "I would've gotten her if it wasn't for you, Four!"

"Maybe next time, Owen," Four shouts back as Owen heads for the aquarium exit. He turns towards Tris. "We should go find the others. It's better to stay in a group."

"Yeah," Tris agrees and stands up. She's taken aback when she sees him offering a hand to her, even though she's no longer crouching. After a moment of hesitation, she takes it and they leave the aquarium.

His hand is big and warm, and it makes her feel self conscious. She regrets not wiping her hands on her jeans beforehand, because she's suddenly realizing how sweaty they are. But the sight of her wiping her hands probably wouldn't look too attractive either. Her hand tightens tentatively and tries not to grip too hard at the same time in an awkward manner.

Before she can figure out if she's holding his hand properly, Four is already letting her go. They join up with a few other members wearing orange bands and move to another part of the city. The paintball game continues on and they travel together, but he doesn't try to hold her hand again. Even though she doesn't expect him to, she feels rather disappointed.

Their group returns to the park as midnight approaches and there's a huge crowd on the lawn. Tris turns around to say bye to Four but he's already gone. Instead, she waves to the rest of the group, mostly people she doesn't know, and goes off to find her friends. She squeezes through the crowd, and spots Christina and Marlene to the side of the stage.

"Tris!" Christina says, giving her a wide smile.

"Hey," she greets in return.

"Where's Uri and Lynn?" Marlene looks around her.

"I don't know, I lost them earlier. Uriah was already out though," she tells them.

The man who was handing out equipment earlier now stands on the stage, holding a bizarre device in his hands. He scans the crowd to tally the numbers of members on each team. Then, he reaches for the green flag in his pocket and raises it up high.

The green players on the field give a deafening cheer, stomping, clapping, and pumping their fists in the air. Tris flinches at Christina and Marlene's high pitch screams.

"Yay! We won!" Marlene shouts as she high-fives Christina.

"We were doing so well though," Tris says with a frown.

Christina puts an arm around Tris. "Not well enough," she sings. "C'mon, let's go find Uriah and Lynn."

They find Uriah and Lynn with Shauna's group of friends, playing some sort of Dare game. Uriah is slurring his words and can barely keep his head on straight while Lynn is giggling unusually. Christina and Marlene join the game but Tris decides to opt out. Something tells her it's not a good idea, specifically, the naked guy sitting in a cardboard box amongst the group.

Tris watches the game for a while before getting bored and wandering off. As she walks past the stage area again, she sees a familiar figure breaking off from the crowd with a beer bottle in his hands. An odd boldness takes over her and she follows him.

Four moves lithely through the paths between buildings. He reminds her of the black alley cats that the Factionless keep as pets. After a few turns, she loses him to the shadows.

She scolds herself for acting brashly. What's the use in following him anyways? It's not as if she has something to say to him. Tris begins heading back to the park, abandoning thoughts of finding Four, only to see him sitting on the side of a nearby bridge with his feet dangling over the dried up river.

She shouldn't approach him because she doesn't have a reason to, but she does. Her heart beats loudly against her ears and she watches him carefully as she gets closer.

Four turns to the sound of her footsteps, looking a bit surprised to see her, but then he gives her a small smile. Tris takes it as a welcome gesture and moves to sit beside him.

After a moment of silence, she speaks.

"Thanks for saving me earlier."

"Hm?" He rotates the beer bottle in his hand restlessly.

"During the paintball game."

"Oh. We still lost though."

"Yeah…"

He offers her his beer bottle and she looks at it uncertainly before taking it. She takes a small sip and gives it back to him.

"Maybe we would've won if we played capture the flag," he considers.

"It'd be impossible to find the flag."

"I'm sure you'd figure something out. Like climb the hub," Four says with a laugh. Tris stays quiet and he gives her a worried look. "Please tell me you're not considering that."

"Maybe not the hub, but you might see it by going through the zip line. Well, assuming you can't hide it in buildings," she muses.

"Your Erudite is showing," he teases and she smiles sheepishly at him. "I was kidding anyway. I still can't believe you climbed that Ferris wheel." He nods towards the wheel in the far distance.

In the moonlight, the Navy Pier Ferris wheel stands clear against the dark sky. She can even make out the red passenger cars.

"You weren't scared?" He asks, watching her.

"Not really. It was… thrilling." Tris bites her lips in thought. She tries to recollect the feelings of being on the Ferris wheel over a year ago. "I wasn't scared, but I guess I was a little nervous. And even though I was all the way up there alone, it didn't feel very lonely."

"I don't think I'll ever be able to climb that thing."

"Maybe you can and you just don't know it."

He shakes his head with a frown. "I'm afraid of heights, remember?"

"Yeah, but you climbed that tree in Amity."

"Tris, the tree was five meters tall, not fifty."

"Still…" she trails off. "Maybe one day you'll climb that Ferris wheel in spite of your fear."

Four smiles at her unexpected optimism. "Maybe."

"And then we can go zip-lining together."

She said it as a joke and when he doesn't oppose the idea, she turns to him, expecting a frown or a pair of eyebrows knitted in thought, but he only stares at her. It is a tender gaze, almost affectionate, but also strangely familiar and Tris can't help but stare back as she feels herself drowning in the blue oceans of his eyes.

He leans in slowly until their noses touch, and she tenses. From their closeness, she can see the way his eyes are framed by thick dark lashes. Her cheeks flush and her mind is dizzy. She can smell the alcohol from their breaths and it directs her eyes to his slightly parted lips that continue to inch closer to hers.

Just as their lips are about to touch, he pulls away hesitantly.

"Sorry, I…" Four trails off and shakes his head.

"It's okay," Tris mumbles as she turns away. There's a sharp pang in her chest, and whether it's from disappointment, sadness, or embarrassment, she doesn't know.

But she does know it was a mistake, just the alcohol acting on him. Why else would he almost kiss her? She's just Tris. Short. Plain. Stiff. _Tris_.

She steals a glance at him and sees the regret on his face. She wonders if he would regret it even more if their lips actually met.

"I'm going to go," she says quietly, standing up and taking a step back. "My friends might be looking for me."

"Yeah." He jerks awkwardly as if to get up, but decides against it.

Tris walks away from him, making sure not to look back. When she's finally off the bridge and shielded by the tall buildings, she breaks into a run.

* * *

AN: Ah, so close! I was so, so, so, very tempted to have them kiss but was able to stick to my original plans. The fan girl in me is still screaming "noooo" though. D:

This is such a long chapter, but I wanted to contrast their relationship between then and now to emphasize the consequences of the memory reset. Also, I'm not a believer of love at first sight (attraction yes, but not love). At the end of the first book, Tobias tells Tris he's in love with her, which is believable, considering they are forced to go through some rather difficult obstacles that ultimately pulled them together. Since that's not the case in this story, I wanted to show a more gradual process of them falling in love as free teenagers.

However, I do want to clarify that most of what happens in the first book happens before this story (ie, Beginning of Divergent up to the end of initiation). Hence, the flashback scenes are kind of a "Divergent, no war" story in the background that occurs between Divergent and the start of this story. This also means they _did_ climb the Ferris wheel together even though they don't remember it.

On a side note, I finally wrote a summary. Since the cat is out of the bag, I went with something a bit more direct so it actually tells you what the story's about. …Which is what summaries are supposed to do anyways…

Please send me a review if you have time. :) It's getting harder for me to write these days.

(Also feel free to flame me for the annoyingly long author's note, but only if you read the whole thing. :P)


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